


I didn't outgrow you (I just didn't know you)

by peopleare_overrated



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Abuse, Abusive Patton, Angst with a Happy Ending, M/M, Multi, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Polyamory, Unsympathetic Logan, Unsympathetic Patton, Unsympathetic Roman, but started hanging out with the dark sides, but the two get redeemed, guilt tripping, this is an au where Virgil was never a dark side to begin with
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-10-08
Updated: 2019-10-08
Packaged: 2020-11-27 21:00:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,093
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20954834
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/peopleare_overrated/pseuds/peopleare_overrated
Summary: Virgil realized that the Light Sides aren't his family, at least not anymore.....Of course, there will be consequences....This was originally posted on my Tumblr (peopleare-overrated), but I decided to post it on here. This story will contain a lot of unsympathetic Patton, plus some unsympathetic Roman and Logan in the early chapters, but these two will get redeemed. The title are lyrics from Teddy Bear by Melanie Martinez. Enjoy!!!





	1. Bad Influence

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The light sides just want Virgil to see how toxic Deceit and Remus are. They are the bad guys, right?

“I am just saying kiddo, I don’t want you hanging around Deceit too much, he’s dangerous.”

Virgil crossed his arms, “You’re just saying that because you don’t know him like I do. If you spent some time with him, you would know he’s not. He’s just…trying his best,” he knew this was pointless. They had this argument many times before, but they were all the same. The others just couldn’t see it, and it frustrated Virgil to no end.

“Or maybe, and that’s just an idea,” Patton put his hand on Virgil’s shoulder, “He’s manipulating you.”

Virgil slapped the hand away and scoffed, “And why would he? He doesn’t have any reason to. He never tried manipulating any of you, so why would he try to now?”

There was something in Patton’s eyes that Virgil couldn’t quite describe, it wasn’t hatred or anger, and although Virgil saw this look a million times before he never figured out what it was. Patton sighed and stepped away from Virgil, “We’re just…worried for you, kiddo. One snake is enough.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?!” Virgil averted his gaze to the figure on the left, “Roman, you hung out with Deceit when you were still…whole, you know he’s not like that, right?”

“To be honest, I don’t remember much, but Patton is right. He just…”

“Looks like a Disney villain? Yeah, you told me that a thousand fucking times before. Logan, c'mon, you must know that this doesn’t make sense,” Virgil wrapped his hands around himself. No, he wasn’t going to cry. Not now. Not in front of others.

Logan looked away, “Maybe Deceit isn’t that bad, but Remus is certainly a poor influence.”

“That’s why we split! Remus isn’t good for Thomas. You must see that Virgil.”

“…Not all of him.”

“Yes, all of him,” Patton insisted, taking a step closer. Virgil took a step back, “We’ll make you see, you just have to stop seeing them, kiddo. They’re…corrupting you.”

“And you think you’re all good?! Patton, nothing is black and white. Not even you three, and certainly not me. And not them,” Virgil sniffed and tried to stop his voice from cracking, “Maybe if you weren’t so biased you could see that.”

“…Biased? Virgil, I am the embodiment of logic and even I can see that they’re a bad influence.”

“And you’re not?! Logan, you constantly suppress your feelings and have anger issues, you’re not squeaky clean either. And neither is Roman or Patton!” He didn’t mean to let his distorted voice slip, but it did, and there was nothing he could do about it now. Virgil made sure that he had a door behind him, giving him a chance to run. This wasn’t like it normally was. This time the argument was getting heated. This time Virgil stood up for the so-called Dark Sides, even though the “Light Sides” weren’t any better. Virgil didn’t understand why the divide even happened.

Roman put his hand on his chest while Patton gasped, “What’s that supposed to mean, Frown Bow? How can Patton be bad?!”

“I never said that! You’re putting words in my mouth, unlike Deceit! Talk about hypocrisy! You may think you’re innocent but if I remember correctly, you were the one who cast his brother out into the dark corner of the mindscape! Have you ever been to the,” Virgil made air quotes with his fingers, “‘Darkscape’ or whatever you call it? It’s fucking horrible there!”

“That’s it, you’re grounded! Go to your room!” Patton pointed to the stairs.

“No!”

Finally, a silence fell over the living room. It was heavy though, it filled Virgil’s lungs up and made him want to cough. His vision was too blurry to see anything but shapes, but the tears still didn’t spill. He closed his eyes for a moment to stop them from getting out. He was only speaking in his distorted voice now. It hurt his throat to yell with it for so long. He didn’t have any more time to think, as Patton broke the silence.

“…What?”

Virgil gathered up the last of his courage and spoke, not yelled, spoke back, “I said no. You’re not my fucking dad, you’re technically younger than me. I formed before you did,” there it was again. The eerie look in Patton’s eyes reappeared, “So what? You’re gonna slap me? I think that speaks more about you than Remus and Deceit. They never hit me.”

Before Patton could speak up again, Logan put his hand onto Patton’s shoulder and looked at him, then at Virgil, “Virgil, this is not you. You know very well that Patton serves as a father figure for Thomas, he always had. You’re getting paranoid.”

Roman scoffed and put his hands on his hips, “One would think Vigilance would notice that he’s hurting his family.”

That was the moment his eyes overflown. Hot tears finally streamed down his cheeks, his eyes red. Virgil’s vision instantly became clearer and no longer blurry. He expected Patton to be crying, but instead, there was a scowl on his face. Virgil has, despite being the tallest out of the sides, never felt this small. That feeling was very familiar to him, but not to this extent. He never actually feared for his safety around them. Before Virgil could stop himself, his thought escaped from his lips.

“No, you’re not.”

The three widened their eyes at the statement, “What? Kiddo, what are sayi-”

“You’re not my family, family never does this. Family doesn’t shame you, family doesn’t make you feel unsafe and insecure. This isn’t healthy,” Virgil slowly shook his head and backed up against the door to the “Darkscape”, slowly reaching for the handle.

One again, Logan spoke up, “Virgil, these are just cognitive distortions, you’re getting paranoid again.”

“Well if I’m so paranoid, shouldn’t I be Paranoia instead of Vigilance?”

Patton gasped, “Don’t say that! You know very well that you’re Vigilance, you always have been. Sides can’t just change their function,” he furrowed his eyebrows.

“Pardon me if I’m wrong, but Vigilance is just a pretty word for anxiety, isn’t it? Isn’t it, Logan?” he gripped the handle tighter.

“Well, n-not entirely. That’s not the-”

Roman interrupted him, “That’s not the point. The point is that you’re Vigilance, end of discussion.”

“Just like Remus is just Intrusive thoughts? Or just how Patton is not Emotions at all and is just Morality?”

Roman opened his mouth to say something, but nothing came out. Instead, Patton spoke up again, “Virgil, kiddo-”

“Don’t fucking call me that!”

Logan adjusted his glasses, “Well, what should we call you?”

Virgil hesitated for a moment, before speaking up again, “Anxiety. Call me Anxiety,” he opened the door, ignoring the protests of others. He paused when he registered what Roman shouted at him.

“If you walk through that door, you will no longer be welcome here as a light side!”

Virgil wiped his eyes with a sleeve of his hoodie. He was feeling sad, of course. Who wouldn’t? But at the same time, he felt…relieved. It was a strange feeling to Virgil, although not a bad one, “Good,” he shut the door behind him and walked down the stairs into the dark sides’ living room, “Remus, Dee, I’m home!”


	2. a quiet, not quite a morning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A quiet afternoon gets interrupted because the Light sides are meanies >:(

It has been exactly five weeks and three days since Virgil left the “Light” sides, and things were getting better. Virgil didn’t have night terrors anymore, he didn’t have an anxiety attack in two weeks, he made progress.

It was morning, well, more like noon, but that didn’t matter. It always rained outside, in the Darkscape. To be honest, Virgil kind of liked it, at least there wasn’t the constant heavy silence when no one was talking. The radio was on, playing a song that Virgil didn’t know the name of. He guessed it was one of those lofi ones. He liked those songs better than the constant loud Disney playing on repeat. Much better.

“Well, well, well, look who’s up.”

Virgil glanced around the kitchen and spotted Dee leaning against the wall. The smiled softly and handed the tired side his coffee, “Here, you need it more than me.”

Dee looked at the coffee and then back at Virgil, “Judging by the eye bags under your eyes, I don’t guess so.”

“Ha, ha, very funny,” Virgil poured himself another cup. He leaned against the counter and looked at Dee, “Where’s Remus?”

“Awake in his bed.”

Virgil nodded, sipping on his coffee.

“How come you are the last one awake?” Dee asked.

The anxious side shrugged, “Couldn’t sleep, I guess. And before you say anything, I didn’t wanna bother you with my nonexistent sleep habits…again.”

“Yes, because you are totally bothering us. We hate it when you ask us for help and told you a million times that when you can’t sleep or aren’t feeling well to stay in your room and don’t tell us about it,” Dee did not look impressed as he sipped on his coffee. He walked closer to Virgil, putting his head onto his shoulder, “We don’t care about you at all and want you to be miserable.”

Virgil brought an arm around Dee and placed in on his back, “I know, I know, just…old habits die hard. I am sorry.”

“You should be sorry, it’s all your fault.”

“Again, old habits die hard, but hey, at least I didn’t have a night terror again, that’s progress.”

Dee didn’t respond, he just looked at Virgil, tired eyes scanning all over his face. He leaned in, placing a kiss on Virgil’s cheek.

“Ew, disgusting.”

The pair turned around to see Remus, dressed in nothing but boxers, standing in the doorway.

Virgil rolled his eyes, “You’re the one to talk.”

Remus didn’t say anything, instead opening the fridge and crouching to look inside.

Dee raised an eyebrow, “Seriously? You just woke up and you aren’t going for the food?”

“If it makes you feel any better I forgot dinner yesterday.”

“Why yes, that makes me feel a thousand times better. One sleeps, the other eats. Do I not have the only brain cell in here?” Dee put his now empty mug into the sink and went to sit at the table.

“By the way,” Virgil said, “Do you know what day it is?”

Dee squinted his eyes for a second, “Uhhh, Tuesday, why?”

“The others and Thomas are filming today, so don’t be surprised if I just randomly sink out,” Virgil sipped his coffee once more before placing it into the sink, watching as Remu poured himself some cereal with water and scrunched up his nose, “How can you eat that?”

Remus smiled at him and shrugged his shoulders, “What can I say, I am what the gods fear,” he took a spoonful of the cereal water and ate it. Both Dee and Virgil physically cringed, to which Remus replied, “Cowards.”

And so, the three dark sides gathered around the television, not even paying attention to what was playing on it. Virgil was on his phone, scrolling through his Tumblr feed, while Dee verbally judged Remus for his food choices. It was in the afternoon that Dee and Remus decided to get dresses, both heading to their separate rooms, leaving Virgil alone in the living room. After a while of mindless scrolling, he started feeling….tingly. His mouth tasted like iron. His feet and fingers were itching. No, not now. Not here. Not today. Virgil put his phone aside and turned his head to look at where the bedrooms were located, “Hey, hey guys, It- it’s-”

Before Virgil could finish the sentence he had appeared in Thomas’ living room. He shut his eyes for a second, not being used to such light, “Ugh, what do you want?”

Logan was the one who spoke first, “Virgil has been feeling rather unmotivated today, and we suspect it is your doing.”

“Yeah,” Virgil finally opened his eyes, “Sorry to break it to you, but I got up like, eight minutes ago and have been feeling pretty chill, so I don’t think I am the problem here. Isn’t Princey all about motivation and stuff?”

Roman scoffed and crossed his arms, “Why yes, blame it all on me. That’s just like you, not taking responsibility for anything.”

Virgil pulled his hood up, “Oh, Princey, you’re so easily offended, but as I said, I am less anxious than I normally am, so I am not the problem here.”

“For once…” mumbled Logan.

“Kiddo, I know you like dark and angsty things, but maybe try not to bring the atmosphere down so much?” Patton asked with a plastic smile on his face.

Virgil rolled his eyes and sighed, “I told you not to call me that. Also, since I am not the problem here, I am gonna go, break a leg trying to figure this out by yourselves,” he slowly sank back out.

“Don’t come back!” Roman shouted.

“Wouldn’t dream of it, Princey…”

When he did sink back into the Darkscape, Remus and Deceit were already laying on the couch. Virgil went to lay across the couple’s legs, “Ugh, just how annoying can they be? ‘Thomas is feeling bad so Anxiety must be doing this!’ Fucking god, I really hate them sometimes.”

“Sometimes?” sniffed Remus.

Virgil chuckled, “All the time.”

“Now that sounds more like it, stormcloud!”

Virgil glanced at the tv, “What are we watching?”

“The black cauldron,” replied Dee.

Virgil furrowed his eyebrows, “Huh, never saw that. I mean, I wanted to, but Roman never let us watch it on movie nights, apparently, it’s "too dark for a Disney movie’”

Remus smiled, “What’s wrong with a little darkness? If anything it is the best Disney movie of all the time.”

Virgil smiled back, “Agreed.”


	3. A free couch

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When Deceit hears a knock on his door at midnight, the last person he expected to be behind it is Logan, who got kicked out of the mindscape by Patton after confronting him about their treatment of the “dark” sides

Dee loved watching storms when there was one outside, like now, for example. Sure, maybe it was almost midnight, but the storm was too loud for him to sleep through anyways. A particularly loud thunder cracked throughout the commons, and suddenly everything was dark. The lamp on the nightstand turned off, so did the light in the hallway that Remus always turned on just to annoy Deceit. He paid it no mind, still watching the storm from his window. He doesn’t know how long it was until he heard someone knock on his door. He checked his digital clock, but, of course, it was turned off, like everything electric.

Maybe Virgil had another nightmare? Or Remus was still awake and his nyctophobia got to him? Well, no, it was neither of those. When Dee opened the door, instead of seeing a familiar face of one of his lovers, he saw, “Logan?”

The smaller man flinched as if he wasn’t aware of Deceit, “Uh, greetings,” he refused to look at Dee, instead looking on the floor.

Dee furrowed his eyebrows, “What do you want?”

Logan shifted on his feet, and as far as Dee could see with the light from the windows, he was still dressed in his usual clothes. Little dishevelled, yes, but still in his clothes, “I wanted…to ask if I, uh, if I could…sleep on the couch in the dark s-side…commons?" 

Deceit furrowed his eyebrows further, "Why? Did Patton finally snap and kicked you out?” he taunted the other.

Logan stiffened, “N-no, why would, why would he do that?”

Dee could feel the heaviness of the lie, it tasted like denial. Logan must’ve noticed, even though he was still yet to look up at him.

“Look, I…Just this night, okay? When you wake up there will be no sign of me ever being here. I understand Virgil would be…less than pleased with me being here after what I’ve…done, a-and…I am not quite s-sure what…Remus would do to me.”

There was something in the way that Logan worded his sentences that made Deceit feel like something was not quite right. Logan was a confident jerk with unreasonably loud vocal cords…this wasn’t Logan. It was after another thunder cracked that Dee noticed he was subtly shaking. It wasn’t from cold, no, Dee would be freezing right now if it was from cold. Did he, the unfazed ever so stoic logic, fear him? That was something Dee wanted for a long time, but for some reason…it didn’t feel good like it should’ve, like Deceit imagined it would. And then there was the fact that Logan still hadn’t looked up at him, and Dee didn’t want to be right about why that was.

“Logan, why did Patton kick you out?”

“He-he didn’t! I already told you that!”

Deceit’s tone turned more serious, deepening a little, “You should be well aware of the fact that I can tell when you lie. Spill the beans, sherlock.”

Logan was silent for a long time, before letting out a quiet, shaky sigh, “I…realized the error of our ways and…what we were…doing…to you. Patton didn’t. Can I sleep on the couch of not?”

Deceit wanted to let it go. He wanted to let Logan go sleep on the couch and forget this conversation ever happened. Go back to them ridiculing each other with spite in their tone. 

But…

Deceit couldn’t. Besides the fact that he was a nosy fucker, he was genuinely concerned for Logan, something he never in a million years thought was going to happen. So, he responded with an order, “Logan, look at me.”

Logan stepped back, “I-I beg you…pardon?”

Dee stepped with him, “You haven’t looked up at me for the entirety of this conversation. Why? And don’t lie.”

“…” Logan folded in on himself, “…I simply don’t want to,” he muttered in response, just barely on the edge of Dee’s hearing.

“That’s a damn fucking lie and you know it,” Deceit stepped closer to Logan, just barely stepping out of his room.

Logan didn’t say anything this time, and Dee couldn’t blame him, but after all the years of Logan being an asshole to him, Dee felt like he deserved it. That belief immediately crumbled as he felt something wet dripping onto his bare feet, just barely catching the soft sound Logan so desperately tried to muffle with his hand. 

“P-please don’t hit me. I do-don’t-I…” ragged breaths stopped him from completing the sentence.

Dee bend down, trying to get a look at the smaller man’s face, but before he could even get a glimpse, Logan covered it with his hands. Just barely did he see the fresh bruise below Logan’s wrist. He knew better than to touch him. 

“Hey, Logan, it’s okay, I won’t hurt you.”

After a while, Logan replied, “You should…I’ve done…terrible thing to you. A-and Remus. And Virgil,” his broken voice was muffled by the hands on his face. 

“You did,” Logan flinched at the words, “But I won’t hit you. You never got physical, I don’t see why should I.”

Logan dug the nails on his hands into his forehead.

“Hey, c'mon, let me see you.”

Logan shook his head, “I look revolting.”

“Not more revolting then Remus ever did,” Deceit tried to lighten the atmosphere, but it didn’t help. He slowly reached over to touch the ever-so faint bruise on Logan’s forearm. Logan flinched out of Deceit’s touch.

“I-I apologize…”

“No need,” Dee seemed to think for a few seconds, glancing at his room and back to Logan, “I have some first aid stuff in my room for when Remus comes back from his missions, and I’m sure that isn’t the only bruise you have. How about we patch you up, huh?”

“Is that some-”

“No,” Deceit shook his head, although Logan could not see it, “It’s not some kind of trick. I can not lie, you know that, right?”

Logan was silent.

“Is that a yes?”

He nodded slowly.

“Will you take the hands off?”

Once again, Logan didn’t respond. Deceit straightened up again, walking back to his room, glancing over his shoulder multiple times. Logan took the hands off for a brief few seconds, the hands still shieling his forehead he looked down and walked slowly to the other’s room. Dee shut the door, watching as Logan flinched once again. He walked to the dresser and opened the bottom drawer pulling out some ibuprofen and a kitchen towel, also some tissues in case something was bleeding. He turned back to Logan, who was standing in the middle of the room, hands finally off his face, looking at the floor with his back turned to Dee.

“I’ll go to a kitchen for a few things, you stay here, okay?”

It seemed like Logan nodded.

Dee shut the door after him, walking through the darkscape, stopping when he arrived in the kitchen. First, he poured Logan a glass of water, which he set on the counter. He took the kitchen towel in his hands and placed it below the ice machine in the fridge. He hoped the sound didn’t wake the others up. He returned back to his room to see Logan, who had his back still turned to him, looking out the big window on his wall, watching the thunder. He smirked, “Lovely, isn’t it?”

Logan jumped when he spoke, “Uh, yes.”

Dee was silent for a while, “…So, will you show me your face? I am sure there's something wrong with it if you’re so reluctant to look at me.”

After a few silent seconds, maybe even a minute, Logan finally turned around. Now, Deceit wouldn’t say it was the worst he’d ever seen, but it wasn’t the best either. There, around Logan’s left eye, was a large bruise, already turning purple.

“Oh, Logan…” Deceit walked up to the smaller man, a troubled look on his face. This was the first time anything like this happened. The core sides never hit anyone, they never did anything physical despite the threats, even to Remus or Dee, and doing it one of them…Deceit couldn’t help but feel disgusted.

He took the ice wrapped in the towel and put it over the bruise, covering the entire eye. Logan flinched in pain. Eventually, Dee coaxed Logan into sitting down on his bed and taking the ibuprofen to stop the pain.

“C'mon, what happened? Did Patton do this? I bet it was Patton, that son of a-”

“To be fair, I deserved it.”

Dee furrowed his eyebrows in worry, “Logan, no one deserves that. Please, just…tell me what happened?”

Logan looked away but started talking nonetheless, “I confronted Patton about our behaviour towards you, and he shut me down, telling me you deserve it. We got into a fight about morals and…it somehow escalated to Virgil…” a single tear fell from his eye, which Logan didn’t acknowledge, “It was after I proposed the idea of destroying the idea of Light and Dark sides that Patton snapped. I…can’t go to my room anymore, whenever I try there’s just…bricks behind the door. I have no idea why, but I suspect it has something to do with Roman.”

Deceit let Logan take hold of the ice bag while he disinfected and cleaned the scratches Patton left on his arms and a few on his neck, “I don’t think Virgil can forgive you just yet. After all, he experienced way more than we ever did. I still have this feeling in the back of my brain that I shouldn’t be helping you, but here I am…” Dee looked Logan in the eye, “The point is, it’s not safe for you here, or the mindscape. I don’t know where you’ll go, but if you need anything, just come to my room at night. Only late at night, or the others might still be up.”

Logan nodded, “…Can I…ask you something?”

“Go ahead.”

He hesitated for a second, “Why…Why are you doing this? You admitted that you don’t want to help.”

“No, I said that a part of me feel’s like I shouldn’t be helping you, that’s kinda expected considering you and your friend group hated my fucking guts for as long as I can remember.”

They both widened their eyes when they heard a sound coming from one of the other rooms. They were quiet for a while before Deceit spoke up, “I think you should go.”

Logan got up, “Agreed,” he quickly walked towards the door.

“And Logan…”

The shorter man turned around hesitantly, “Yes?”

Dee opened his mouth as if he was going to say something, before smirking subtly and saying, “Make sure to ice it.”


End file.
